*WARNING! These character descriptions contain MANY spoilers*

Killface is a super villain that built the doomsday device called the Annihilatrix. His appearance is that of a large, menacing, muscle bound brute with white skin and a skull-like head. He's quite foul tempered when things don't go his way (which is almost always), usually to the misfortune of those that work for him. His initial plans to destroy the earth by plunging it into the sun via the Annihilatrix were cut short when Simon prematurely activated it. Instead of destroying earth, It pushed it 3ft away from the sun before shutting down and in effect stopping global warming. Killface used his new status as environmental savior as the backbone of a campaign for presidency. His run was short lived, however, after discovering he isn't even eligible as he's not a US citizen. He returns to his original diabolical plan and is attacked by an enormous mutant ant baby (the spawn of Antagone and Xander Crews) while he is repairing the Annihilatrix. The beast is destroyed by a space craft carrying Killface's mother. She calls him by his real name "Evilyn" and then scolds him for failing to destroy Earth and for not wearing any clothes.

Xander Crews, is the wealthy aire to the Crews Company due to the "untimely deaths of his murdered parents..... who were murdered." Business and money are not his passion though... it's his alter ego Awesome-X, Superhero and leader of the Xtacles... a group of robo-suit soldiers. After Awesome-X defeats all of the famous super villains in the city, Stan takes it upon himself to announce Awesome-X's retirement in an effort to get him to stop draining the company's funds on his superhero addiction. Crews then becomes obsessed with creating a line of Awesome-X action figures, but he needs a nemesis for his figure line to be successful and seeks to get permission from Killface to use his likeness. After Stan betrays Xander by spending his entire fortune to buy the Annihilatrix, he meets with Killface atop the doomsday device to try getting it back. He foolishly tells Killface to toss the check to him and it blows away in the wind. At the beginning of season 2 he is shown as a homeless person who has been living in cardboard boxes and selling recycled needles for the past year, only to reveal that he had found the check and has had it the whole time. After discovering Killface is running for president he decides to run as his opposition only to find out during their first debate that he isn't old enough to be eligible. Killface, also being ineligible, punches Xander at the debate in anger, fracturing his neck and forcing him to wear a halo head brace. His doctor tells him one more blow to the neck would paralyze him. Towards the end of season two, Xander finds out he has a daughter named Jenna who's mother, Felicity "fat tits" Finnegan, has just died of cancer. In true Xander Crews fashion, he pays her to go away then has his doctor check his penis for cancer.

 

 

Simon is Killface's son. He looks like a shorter and chubbier version of his father. He speaks in a low incoherent mumble that only his father and Sinn seem to be able to make out. He is also rather mischievous, doing things like regularly pushing his cereal bowl off the counter defiantly as Killface tells him not to. He also apparently has technical skills, as he was able to repair Sinn's robotic arm while they were in the Emergency room after their fall from the Annihilatrix in episode 5 "Kidnapped". In season one he ran away from home taking all the knives in the house with him, and after buying a bunch of rabbits starts a "death rabbits" fighting ring in Chinatown. The same thing had happened at least once before resulting in them having to relocate from Arizona. Simon is responsible for activating the Annihilatrix at the end of season one which brought global warming to an end. During season he reveals to Killface that he is gay and is dating the LARP Hobbit that goes by the name of Bobo T. Baggins. However, he ends up telling Killface he lied about being gay.

 

 

 

Grace Ryan is a news reporter that goes out of her way to cover Awesome-X. She also happens to be the girlfriend of Xander Crews, though she definitely takes their relationship much more seriously than he does. During an attempt to interview Killface on top of the Annihilatrix a battle breaks out causing her to get knocked off and fall into "drums full of super-intelligent, radioactive waste covered ants." Shortly after, she develops a split personality with super powers. She had no control over the switch and no memory of the change when she returns to her normal self, though she realizes what is going on when she finds stolen money and jewelry in her house. Her super-side calls herself Antagone. She has the relative strength of ants and can spit an eye blinding acid. Throughout Xander's campaign she remained clingy to him, even after he left her for dead in his plunging campaign jet, in hopes that she could become his potential first lady. In episode 21 "The Debate part 2" she is suddenly pregnant and was going to ask him to marry her but as usual Xander pays little attention and asks her why she is such a fattie and tells her she "can't has cheeseburger" when she says she has something to ask him. Following the debate she seems to have become Antagone full-time and joins Sinn, Val, and Watley as part of a new super villain group called the Sisterhood of Chaos. This frail organization quickly crumbles due to the inability to get along with each other. In episode 2-11, Antagone gives birth to her child which is mutant baby that is growing at an ever increasing rate. Her elation at it's birth is short lived, however, when the baby bites her head off within seconds of being born.

 

 

Stan had been running the business side of Crews Company and was head of the company board for years. He was constantly annoyed by Xander's incompetent uses of the company's funds and makes attempts to get him to retire the Awesome-X persona before it brings the company to ruin. Xander's antics drives Stan to the point of having him declared legally dead to gain control of the company and he quickly becomes overly comfortable in Xander's shoes. He even takes over the Awesome-X persona and commands the Xtacles to hunt down and kill Crews. After Xander escapes the Xtacles, he returns to Crews company and gets back at Stan by forcing him to do the "Master cylinder" dance which leads to him having an heart attack. He survives the incident and in season two Xander takes him on as his advisor during his presidential run. After the debate ends Xander's run, he becomes Vice president to the newly elected President Taqu'il.

 

 

 

Sinn (aka Hooper) is a female cyborg that previously worked for Killface. She falls in love with Arthur Watley after they meet at Crews' fake invention contest only to loose him when his transformation into a crab forces him to live in the sea. When Simon runs away, Killface blames Sinn for not being there to stop him and fires her, then names his new friend "Barnaby Jones" (actually Xander Crews) as her replacement. Furious, she swears revenge on Killface for firing her after so many years of loyalty to him. In "Thrust Issues " she joins the Xtacles going under the name Hooper. During Xander's absence Hooper is elected as the new leader of the Xtacles. They have since changed their suits to black and now go by the name Decepticles and she has changed to a white version of her Xtacle suit. Her plan was to take out Killface and repair the Annihilatrix so that she can destroy earth. She forms the super villain group "the Sisterhood of Chaos" with Val, Antagone and Watley and develops a lesbian bond with Val after her and Watley split up. Val, however betrays her by killing her and the takes control of the Decepticles.

 

 

 

Wendell originally worked for the department of labor in season one, heading an operation to expose Torpedo Vegas and his illegal "death rabbit" fighting ring in Chinatown. In season two he starts out as a secret service agent assigned to protect Killface in his run for office as a presidential candidate. When he goes to visit Cody in prison he has him set up a drug deal with his neo nazi companion, gary as a means to raise desperately needed campaign funds for Killface. He dresses up like a skin head to carry the deal out and mistakes Xander and Ronnie as the contacts he's supposed to meet. After the debate he teams up with Xander and volunteers to go undercover as a Decepticle and infiltrate the Xcalibur to stop the Sisterhood of Chaos and kill Antagone and her baby. However, upon seeing Antagone he suddenly decides he's in love with her as does Watley. Wendell and Watley take the Annihilatrix key from Val and trap her and the Decepticles in a cell, then escape the Xcalibur with Antagone and take her to a dump motel. After Watley reveals that he is going to ask Antagone to marry him, Wendell decapitates him and takes the engagement ring. After Antagone gives birth, the baby kills her by biting her head off. Wendell names the baby Cody II after his imprisoned friend and escapes the gathering of Killface, Xander, Val and the Decepticles outside the motel on the baby's back and races to the Annihilatrix where Cody II is killed by Killface's mother's ship.

 

 

 

Dottie was assigned by the DNC to run Killface's presidential campaign. She is known as "the King Maker" and has quite an affinity for expensive european liquor. She is very persistent and focused and not afraid to be pushy with Killface to get him to take things seriously. When her advice and persistence become a bit too pushy in "The Debate part 1" Killface simply pulls out his gun and kills her by shooting her in the forehead.

 

 

 

He put it best in episode 12 when he said "My ass is everywhere." because this old guy really gets around. So far he's been the clerk at the pet store where Simon bought the rabbits, an employee at the mental hospital that Nearl was in, a clerk again at the gun store that Val went to, security at the Chinatown fighting ring, part of Killface's campaign as a polling consultant, the judge that presided over Cody's murder trial and Secretary of Homeland security under Taqu'il's administration. Finally, after he poisons the Speaker of the House and the President Pro Tem of the Senate, he shoots down Air force one with Taqu'il, his entire cabinet and VP Stan on board.... all of which are presumed dead leaving him to succeed as President of the United States.

 

 

In season one, Taqu'il is a famous rapper trying to break into movie acting. He is recruited by Dottie Bunch in season two to be the "Urban relations advisor" for Killface's campaign. He ends up deciding he doesn't want to do it due to Killface's lack of direction and understanding of the important non-global warming issues, but ends up taking the offer to be his vice presidential running mate. After Killface and Xander are disqualified to run, he gets elected as President. When the Sisterhood of Chaos take control of the Annihilatrix he decides to take matters into his own hands and heads off to confront the issue himself. Unfortunately he not only brings Vice President Stan along, but his entire cabinet as well on Air force One. Mr Ford Takes advantage of this opportunity and shoots them down as part of a plan to gain Presidency. Taqu'il only has one parachute and he jumps with Stan clinging to him and lands on the Annihilatrix. When Cody II arrives Taqu'il tries to save the day and dives into it's mouth clutching what appears to be a bomb only to be instantly chomped on and swallowed leaving the stunned onlookers wondering what his overall plan was.

 

 

Arthur, an employee of the Crews Company, volunteers to become "The Dread Lobster"...a villain for the Awesome-X action figure line by replacing his hands with giant lobster claws. Unfortunately his body rejects his new limbs causing him to become very ill, effectively making him an unsuitable villain. When Watley meets Sinn they hit it off and fall in love. He begins slowly transforming more and more into a crab-like creature until he decides to move into the ocean. He is later pulled from the ocean by Antagone and joins the Sisterhood of Chaos. After a fallout with Sinn, the couple splits and Watley find himself falling in love with Antagone. During Antagone's birth Watley starts to propose to her but is interrupted by Wendell. Wendell ends up killing Watley and taking his engagement ring, commenting "Oh my god, he went to Jered's." When the Decepticles arrive they decided so much crab meat shouldn't go to waste and cooked Watley's remains in the motel swimming pool.

 

The Xtacles were Awesome-X's fighting force of robotic suit wearing soldiers and reside on Xcalibur, their technologically advanced hover ship. They were the backbone of Awsome-X, as noted by the nerds in episode 8, "everyone knows Awesome-X's only superpower is the Xtacles." After Xander spent a year as a homeless person then when straight into his campaign for presidency, the Xtacles felt neglected and elected Hooper as their new leader. They changed their name to the Decepticles and switched to black versions of the robotic armor and became soldiers for the short lived "Sisterhood of Chaos."

Note: 7030 productions are currently working on a new spin-off featuring the Xtacles.

Ronnie: A Russian Xtacle with a sexual fascination with Xander. After Xander was captured by the Xtacles, they were going to use their DNA machine to determine if Crews was telling the truth when he claimed to be Awesome-X. Ronnie immediately volunteers to watch Crews while they run the test. After they leave, Ronnie locks the door and glues his "rape wig" to Xander's head and tells him he is going to make "love to his face". He also had sabotaged the DNA machine. When the Xtacles return they find Ronnie tied up and Xander had escaped. In season 2 Xander frames Ronnie for murdering Jimbo after he cuts him apart in an ill-fated attempt to prove Xtacles are robots. After Hooper gains control, Xander is captured when he boards the Xcalibur and is placed in the same cell as Ronnie. Ronnie helps him escape and get to the Haggar arena for the debate. When they arrive, Ronnie is killed by being crushed under the huge pair of pants that sat atop the arena after Hooper fires on it from the Xcalibur.

 

Nearl "the local retarded wino guy." is a crazy homeless man that the Xtacles lure with 50$ into playing the part of Xander Crews to present to Stan (Posing as Awesome-X) when he orders his capture. After giving him a shave and cutting his hair they are shocked to find that he looks almost exactly like Crews. They then inject him with a "brain chemical" that makes him intelligent. To their surprise he passes a DNA test that Stan demands he take. The Xtacles later find out he is the lost twin brother of Xander as they are given the heart breaking story of how he was abandoned in a mental hospital by his parents as a child then once again abandoned on the streets when the hospital closes down. Following his tale he is shot and killed by the Xtacle Ronnie because "It was complicated enough without all this evil twin bullshit happening." Nearl's corpse is seen again briefly in episode 14 "Behold A Dark horse" as the Role playing Nerds appear to be trying to revive him with jumper cables.

 

Val was kidnapped and forced to work for Killface against her will. She's understandably terrified of him since he becomes abusive with her when he doesn't like her ideas... not to mention he killed the twins Trent and Brent for speaking out against him right in front of her. At the end of the first episode she is forced to dress up like a geisha girl which she continued to wear till season 2. In episode 11 she declares revenge on Killface and manages to escape, then goes to a gun store to stock up on guns. She attempts to assassinate Killface in "Thrust Issues" but misses and kills Phil instead. Val continued assassination attempts throughout Killface's run for president and continued to miss, usually to the misfortune of an innocent bystander. She later joins Sinn, Antagone and Watley to form the Sisterhood of Chaos. The group quickly dissolves and Val tricks Sinn by seducing her into a lesbian relationship and then kills her when her guard was down. She then takes control of the Decepticles with the intention of taking control of the Annihilatrix but Wendell steals the Annihilatrix key from her. After Cody II is killed at the Annihilatrix and Killface's mother lands in her ship, she retreats by flying off in Sinn's robot pants with Stan clinging to her.

 

 

Phil worked for Killface as head of construction for the Annihilatrix. In episode 6 "Emergency Room" he learns that he has cancer which was caused by working on the Annihilatrix and files a lawsuit against Killface. In episode 13 "Thrust Issues" Phil has recovered from the cancer but is killed when Val misses Killface with a sniper bullet, hitting him instead.

 

 

 

 

The mutant ant baby of Xander Crews and Antagone. Immediately upon birth he killed Antagone by biting her head off but was quickly tamed by Wendell who established some boundaries for the creature. Wendell named him Cody II in hommage to his imprisoned friend Cody. Wendell hopped on Cody II and rode him to the Annihilatrix where the others had gathered in a confrontation. The Ant baby's life was cut tragically short when it was shot down by Killface's mother's spacecraft.

Baby Lamont is a penguin that captured the world's attention when he became the poster child for global warming after being trapped on an ice floe. Killface used him frequently as part of his campaign ads. Lamont's life was cut short when Killface, in a moment of rage, punches Xander forgetting he was holding Lamont in his hand.

 

 

He tended to Xander after his neck was fractured from Kilface's punch and Ironically ended up with the same injury after Wendell kicked him. He also gave Antagone an ultrasound, exposing the mutant ant baby growing insider her. He likes to use movie references when diagnosing a patient.

 

 

Jenna is the daughter of Xander Crews and an old flame of his, Felicity "Fat tits" Finnegan. She showed up in episode 211 after she lost her mother to cancer. Xander was unaware of her existence and didn't even remember her mother till she showed him a picture of the two of them together. Xander, who was more concerned with the possibility of having contracted penis cancer from Felicity than the fact that he has a daughter, pays her 1 million dollars to go away.

 

 

Cody was Wendell's partner in the Dept of Labor. When their surveillance operation in Chinatown went bad after running into the Force 10 News team, a shooting / video tape tossing fight ensues. Wendell becomes over dramatic after Cody gets hit with one of the tapes and shoots a defenseless, wounded Action News crew member in cold blood saying "This is for Cody." When Cody walks up asking him what he's doing he tosses Cody the gun, yelling "Cody what did you do?" Cody, having been framed for the killing, is now in prison and currently the reluctant love interest of a neo nazi named Gary.

 

 

Host of the Carter Hawkins show. A political talk show which frequently covers the presidential campaign. He was also the moderator for the extremely short debate between Xander and Killface where he started things off by pointing out that neither of them are eligible for president because Xander is too young and Killface isn't even a US citizen.

 

 

Harper is a political commentator that frequently appears on the Carter Hawkins Show presenting a liberal point of view.

 

 

Ashley joins on as Xander's secretary in season 2. She is never actually seen since she only communicates with him via speaker phone. She is a bit on the dingy side and tends to get Xander's instructions messed up. She also doesn't seem to be the most mentally stable either as she sometimes hides under her desk from sirens that she only hears in her head. Her appearance is unknown since she only communicates through Xander's speaker phone.

 

 

 

Mao runs a dry cleaner and sponsored Killface's 'Welcome to you're "DOOM!"' postcard advertising campaign. He's white but dresses as an asian man and talks with a ridiculous accent because he obtained a minority business loan. In "Penultimate fighting" Darcell posed as him in the Chinatown Dethrabbit fighting ring, fooling Grace and stealing her footage of the fight between Xander and Killface.

 

 

 

Three Nerds that are into Live Action Role Playing. One dresses as a wizard, one a paladin, and the other a gay hobbit that goes by the name "Bobo T. Baggins". They are first encountered by Xander after he escapes Ronnie when he falls into a gazebo where they are discussing the next LARP Stock. Naked and without transportation or a home he uses them as a way to get around. They later encounter Nearl after his corpse is dumped off the Xcalibur and also falls through the roof of the gazebo and then in the opening of season 2 the Paladin and Bobo are shown trying to defibrillate him back to life wearing bras on their heads in parody of Weird Science. Later In season 2 Bobo accidentally hits Killface with an RPG fired from a rocket launcher Simon gave him when he met him through a personal ad. Simon and Bobo develop a gay relationship and at one point Simon gives him the coupling for the Annihilatrix as a gift and Bobo later gives it to Wendell posing as a gay man named Steve. Though it was never actually mentioned, It is generally believed that the Wizard was killed by Val since she said she was going to shoot one of them in "Thrust Issues", and in every appearance of the Nerds following that, the Wizard was never present.

 

 

Grace Ryan's crew for Force 10 news. They have little respect for Grace and openly ridicule her on a regular basis. While surveiling the Chinatown Death Rabbit fighting ring where Grace was undercover, they had a run in with Wendell and Cody of the Dept of Labor who were also surveiling the match. Both, fearing their cover was blown, tried to drive away from the scene but ended up crashing into each other. After a gun verses video tape fight, the producer lay wounded and was shot by Wendell. The remaining two went down with Xander's campaign jet after it was hit with a rocket fired by Simon.

 

 

Twin Brothers that were film school students. Killface kidnapped them and forced them to work as promotional advisors for the Annihilatrix. Both of them were eventually blown in half by Killface for speaking out against him.

 

Xander picks her up in the second episode and takes her to his mansion. When he hears Grace at the door to his bedroom he puts on his Awesome-X mask quickly to hide the fact that he's cheating on her. He ends up paying the hooker 5 million to keep his identity secret. After Stan declares Xander legally dead and takes over the company he sells the mansion to the her. Hooker now has a relationship with Old Spice and they are "doing really great".

 

Torpedo runs the fighting ring in Chinatown where Simon takes his "Death Rabbits" when he runs away from home. He takes in Simon almost as a son. After Killface and Barnaby (Xander) escape the action figure sweatshop, they attempt unsuccessfully to rescue Simon from Torpedo and are captured. Torpedo agrees to release Simon if Killface and Xander fight to the death which results in Killface being unable to finish Xander off. Torpedo is moved and allows Xander to live and releases Simon.

 

Darcell is a news reporter for Team Jaguar, the local competitor to Grace Ryan. Grace is always in competition with her to win the Peabody award but always looses out to Darcell. Darcell is not above using sneaky tactics for a story... in episode 12 she disguises herself to get into the Chinatown fighting ring and steals Grace's footage of the fight between Killface and Xander. Darcell dies in season 2 while attending a press conference on Xander's plane after it is shot down by Simon's rocket launcher.

 

An old asian man that helps Killface and Xander escape the action figure sweat shop. He also gives them new replacement eyes after Killface was blinded by Antagone and Xander by Killface's shot blast. He has since become the over protective, jealous boyfriend of Hooker and lives with her in Xander's former mansion.