Summary
By Johnny_Law
Stan is furious over the “Fighting Paunch” feature of the new Awesome-X figure, resulting in his call to the Chinese sweatshop where Killface and Barnaby are imprisoned. Old Spice reveals to the duo that Simon is working for a Chinatown crime boss known as Torpedo Vegas. Sinn, released from Killface, visits the employment office looking for a job. After a frustrating conversation with the less-than-intelligent case worker, Sinn sees an opportunity: the Xtcles are hiring. Val, free from Killface’s clutches and vowing revenge, browses Mr. Ford’s gun shop for weapons including a phased plasma rifle, much to the annoyance of Mr. Ford. Back at the Xcalibur, the Xtcles are still trying to figure out what to do with Nearl’s corpse. After looking for some kind of closure, and a poorly conceived limerick, the Xtcles dump Nearl’s dead body out the Xcalibur’s trap door, which plummets into the Larp Stock pavilion. With the help of Old Spice, Killface and Barnaby plan an awkward escape; Killface strongly believes that Barnaby needs some pants. Killface thanks Old Spice for a map, a new pair of eyes, and most importantly a bag of radishes. This leads to an awkward conversation between the three of them about owning cars in China, ending with the surprise of Old Spice’s ability to speak English. Using Old Spice’s map (in which Killface complains about a lack of direction), Killface and Barnaby make their escape from the sewer…
Back at the Xcalibur, the Xtcles decide to go kill some time by going to the death rabbit fights. Grace Ryan and a bad Chinese accent is already at the scene, working on an undercover story about the illegal event. However, her news team is focused on Darcel Jones, the local multiple Peabody winner and Grace’s chief rival. Mao interrupts Grace’s attempts to sneak into the event, and explains her plan to defeat her Team Jaguar nemesis. Back in the sewers, Barnaby and Killface have an awkward moment that reminds Killface why Barnaby desperately needs a pair of pants. After sneaking into the death rabbit arena, Mao reveals that he had to cut a deal (with some bare knuckled motivation from Taquil) with the Department of Labor to snitch on Torpedo Vegas’ death rabbit operation. After some debate over Darcel Jones and Mao fearing for his life sitting next to Taquil, Grace says she has no real plan against Jones. Meanwhile Killface reveals his escape plan to Barnaby, which Barnaby dismisses as gay. After a brief argument, Killface tells Barnaby there is no Plan B, just in time to be apprehended by Torpedo Vegas’ bodyguards…
Quotes:
Xtacle: “I can’t believe Xander Crews had a brother, then Ronnie shot him in the face!”
Ronnie: “Yeah, dat’s a pickle.”
Awesome Stan action figure commercial: “The new Awesome-X figure, now with power stache and fighting paunch!”
Torpedo Vegas: “Well kid, this ain’t Arizona. Heh..he…heh.”
Employment office worker: “Look lady, I have a job, okay. Maybe it’s not the best job in the world, but it’s better than your job. Because you don’t have one.”
Val: “Your clothes. Give them to me.”
Mr. Ford: “What the f*ck are you doing?”
Val: “Terminator. No?”
Mr. Ford: “Look here lady, I’m tired of talking to you. Get the f*ck out of my store!”
Xtacle: “Okay, uh anyone got a prayer?”
Xtacle 2: “Ooh, oh. It’s uh actually a limerick. Hey I’m Catholic.”
Xtacle: “There once was a dead guy named Nearl. He rode into town on a squirrel. He said to the pig that…I don’t…actually…have..one.”
Barnaby: “Do not drop me in the dookie water”
Barnaby: “Dude close your mouth, incisors right on my bag.”
Barnaby: “MASTA CYLINDER!”
Killface: “Move over bananas, I’ve found a new source of potassium”
Barnaby: “Owning a car in China’s gotta be a huge deal, of course he’s proud of that. Think of how many rags he had to pick!” -
Barnaby: “Hey, he didn’t mean that about your car”
Old Spice: “I don’t have a car.”
Barnaby: “I have about 50.”
Killface: “Oh here’s a good idea: indicate north! Otherwise it’s not technically a map. It’s just a drawing.” –
Xtacle: “Let’s go to the illegal, underground, Chinese rabbit fights!”
Xtacle 2: “Oh..my..God!..Let’s get there this instant!”
Video Guy: “Love me some Darcel Jones!”
Cameraman: “Slideshow! She’s in it.”
Killface: “We really need to get you some pants.”
Barnaby: “Yeah, that’s not a pickle”
Killface:“I know, it’s your penis.”
DOL Agent: “10 years in prison jerkoff or play ball, help us bring these rabbit killers down and ya walk. Walk down to the post office, mail yourself a congratulation letter saying ‘Hey I ain’t getting cornholed in the pen!’”
Taqu'il: “We’ll see how scared yo punk ass is after you do 10 the hard way in the federal pen!”
DOL Agent: “I gotta tell ya, I’m a racist, but you’ve won me over. At least in this case”
Taquil: “Dammit Olivia you’re too close to this thing. And scene. And nachos.”
DOL Agent: “What is this slide show everyone’s doin’?”
Barnaby: “Oh me so hawny…you like teabag Chinatown?”
Killface: “London calling!”
Barnaby: “Yeah…my part’s kinda gay.”
