Summary
By Nikki_D
Killface and Xander (still using the alias Barnaby Jones) are brought before Torpedo Vegas after being captured during their plan to rescue Simon. When Torpedo questions them, Xander cuts in before Killface can say anything, claiming he was kidnapped by him and has Patty Hurst Syndrome. After giving Xander a disgusted look Killface explains he's there to rescue Simon. Torpedo presents a proposition... he will release Simon and let them go if they have a fight to the death. Much to Xander's dismay, Killface jumps at the offer and whispers to him that he has a plan.
Out in the fighting ring, the audience is getting riled up for the Death Rabbit match. Grace Ryan, Taqu'il, Mao, several Xtacles, and some Stan clones are among the spectators. Torpedo comes out and annouces that the Death Rabbit match has been cancelled to a dissapointed crowd. Grace swears that it was Darcell's doing. Torpedo then proclaims there will be a human death match between two best friends instead which really gets the crowd cheering. Meanwhile outside, Grace's news team as well as the dept of Labor seperately are watching the event through surveilance equipent set up in their vans. Suddenly their signals somehow get crossed and they both see each other through their monitors. Both jump to the conclusion that they have been discovered and try to flee the area but instead crash into each other, all the while being filmed by the Team Jaguar camera men.
As the fight begins, Killface tells Xander to make the fight look real. Xander immediatly starts hitting killface while he doesn't fight back. It's not long before Xander starts getting cocky and begins playing to the audience. Before long the crowd starts claiming that the fight is fixed. Killface realizes they aren't buying the ruse then goes with "plan B" and bites Xander's ear off then spits it to the floor. Suddenly the Stan clones jump to the floor, devouring the fresh piece of flesh. Back outside, the dpt. of labor agents are firing on the Force 10 news guys who are fighting back by throwing video cassettes. Xander, now enraged, rushes Killface and begins wailing on him while mocking him for getting them into this situation. The insults keep flying along with the hits to Killface until Xander crosses the line by making comments about Simon. This sends Killface into a rage and with one hit he floors Xander then slams his foot to Xander's throat. As Killface looks down and sees his new best friend "Barnaby" looking up at him choking he stops himself and refuses to kill him. Torpedo Vegas is moved by the sentiment and allows Xander to live and releases Simon as well. Grace is elated to have caught such a great story on her hidden camera, but her dream of winning the local peabody is cut down as a familliar large cat races by snagging her bag... along with the camera. Suddenly, who she thought was Mao sitting next to her removes a disguise revealing herself as Darcell Jones. Xander apologizes to Killface for letting things get out of hand during the fight and Killface responds by saying they are BFFs. After Killface breaks into his buddy song Xander finally decides to take of his wig and reveal his true identity.... then runs away.
Quotes:
Xander: I have Patty Hurst Syndrome!
Torpedo: I'm getting furious with you. You don't even have pants on.
Xander: Neither does he.
Torpedo: He doesn't have a penis! As far as I can tell.
Xander: Yeah, what is the story on that?
Killface: Right, you're one to talk.
Xander: My penis fills an entire tallboy.
Xander: Master cylindaaa!
Torpedo: I don't even have any coins you bitch!
Taqu'il: I freakin love chinatown!
Xtacle: Me too man!
Taqu'il: I wanna teabag chinatown!
Xtacle: BOOSH!
Mr. Ford: Yeah, my ass is everywhere.
Xtacle: Hey Ronnie, isn't that your rape wig?
Ronnie: Yeah, dat is one of them.
Torpedo: Son what can I say... this was a phenomenally great idea you had son. And you cut is fort...thirty grand.
Simon: Mumm umm hummunmnm.
Torpedo: Yeah, you can count it.... if you want to be a douchebag all your life.
Xander: Yeah, and i love that song... but... I'm actually.. XANDER CREWS!! Wooop wooop wooop woop!!
