Summary
By Nikki_D
One year has passed since that fateful night atop the Annihilatrix when Simon activated it's thrusters. Killface is being interviewed about the incident and what has transpired because of it. Instead of pushing the Earth into the sun as it was designed to do, it pushed the Earth 3ft away from the sun before the couplings melt, which stopped the effects of global warming. Killface takes credit and claims that it was his plan all along. The timing was impeccable since mass media coverage around the world found it's mascot for global warming in a baby penguin named Lamont. The sympathy for the little penguin being stranded on an ice floe caused by arctic melting brought the debate on global warming to boiling point. Killface, now a hero in the public's eyes, is asked by the DNC to get in the running as the next democratic presidential candidate. Dottie "the king maker" bunch signs on to run his campaign.
Killface and Dottie discuss his dwindling campaign funds as he cringes at the thought of doing more fund raisers. Suddenly the sound of glass shattering rings out as a sniper's bullet barely misses Killface. This was just one of many recent sniper attempts to assassinate him yet completely misses him every time and hits someone else... this time the victim is Dottie's liquor bottle. Killface calls out and Wendell Stamps repels down a rope from the ceiling burning his hands in the process. Wendell, formerly of the Dept of Labor, is now a secret service agent assigned to protect Killface and watch after Simon as well as... entertain Dottie. Mr Ford is now also working for Killface's campaign as a polling consultant, though he tends to just make up the results before faxing them to him. While discussing his reputation with the black population, Dottie explains that she has brought in Taqu'il to be an Urban relations advisor. Taqu'il however, decides he wants nothing to do with it due to Killface's lack of direction and knowledge of policies. Dottie then comes up with the idea of Taqu'il as Killface's running mate, which Killface isn't too keen on... bringing up past poor choices such as Taqu'il's Ballocaust album which had a picture of him holding a ball with a swastika on it, wearing a shirt with the SS symbol on it and has a chained girl at his feet in a skimpy holocaust victim outfit. However, after being convinced that blacks make up 13% of the population and the Jews 2% he tells Taqu'il to "get on the bus."
Quotes:
Killface: Brrrring... Hello this is God...yes hello it's earth, can you cure globa warming? Click. You know, so... am I a hero? Yeah.
Wendell: Al Gore and the bongwater brigade... that's who cared. F__kin' hippies.
Wendell: Also I look after Goldielocks, that's my callsign for his kid Simon, who uhh.. between us is uhh, kinda f__ked up.
Wendell: I wish we could have a thought balloon over that guy's head, you know? It's like when you look at a dog, what's he thinkin'? Is he thinkin' just dog thoughts, or is it real thoughts like "hey we're out of... things a dog needs?"
Mr. Ford: I said what do you think about global warming? Huh? Well get a job you damn hippie... huh? Aw, f__k you.
Killface: This bird... reaks.
Killface: Well then... get on the bus.
