Summary
by Nikki_D
Grace Ryan, Force 10 news reporter, brings a breaking news report of a blaze in the warehouse district left behind after a fierce battle between Disastron, the last surviving member of the "Chaos Council" and the city's own protector Awesome-X. He joins her infront of the camera to give a shout out to the Xtacles, his fighting force of cyborg supersoldiers. Grace then annouces that X will finally be retiring... a comment he immediately denies. Watching the recorded report from the office of his company, billionare Xander Crews asks company head of the board, Stan, who started the rumor about Awesome-X's retirement. Stan admits he issued a press release on Awesome-X's behalf so that he can get focussed on running his company and drop the superhero nonsense. Xander becomes offended and exclaims that he was avenging the untimely deaths of his murdered parents. The dispute is inturrupted when Crews recieves a call from Grace Ryan, who not only is his girlfriend, but completely unaware that he is Awesome-X. Their conversation is also cut short however when he simply hangs up on her in mid conversation. Stan continues to hound Xander about taking the business seriously and says he needs to fire the Xtacles because they are draining five million dollars a year from the company to which Xander claims that unless they suddenly loose five million somehow he's not firing his dawgs.
Xander is riding in his limo when he gets another call from Grace but he becomes quickly distracted when he sees a hooker on the street. He takes the hooker home and goes to bed with her but that suddently comes to a screeching halt when he hears Grace in the house heading to his bedroom. Grace opens the door and is shocked to find Awesome-X in Xander's bed with a hooker. After Grace leaves, the hooker is in awe of the fact that Crews is Awesome-X. Later we see Stan furious at Xander for paying off the hooker five million to keep his identity secret and tells him he has to fire the Xtacles.
Awesome-X heads to Xcalibur, the hovership base of operations for the Xtacles, to deliver the grim news. The ship appears empty when he first enters, but suddenly the Xtacles pop up from hiding with guns drawn. He immediately whips out his guns shooting down several of the Xtacles. One of them finally gets him to stop and points out it was a suprise party... with guns that blow bubbles. He then explains that the Crews company pays for the operation and decided to cut the funds and they would have to take it up with Xander Crews, to which their response is to kill him. X quickly comes to his defense to talk them down. They then present him with a handmade Awesome-X figurine which suddenly gives him an idea.Crews breaks into the company board room during a meeting with Stan and the board members, all of which are Stan clones that never say anything but "Hrrumph!" He annouces that he converted all the factories over to make Awesome-X dolls. This once again leads to a battle between Xander and Stan. Stan tells him the line will fail without Villain. Xander , one step ahead, presents "the Dread Lobster" which turns out to be an employee of the company, Arthur Watley, who has had his forearms replaced with huge lobster claws. Unfortunately, poor Arthur has become very ill due to his body rejecting the claws and obviously is not a suitable villain, bringing them back to the original problem. Xander notices Killface's postcard in the mail on his desk and realizes he has found his villain.
Quotes:
Xander: Nonsense? Stan, I was avenging the untimely deaths of my murdered parents..... who were murdered.
Xander: Click! Hohoho, oh my god she's gonna be mad I did that. I don't even know why I did it....do you think I'm selfish?
Grace: Xander? I guess the network's down.
Crewman: Uhh, I've got six bars.
Grace: Are you people gonna load out or dick around with your phones allday?
Xander: Daymn dawg, what's all this bin'is?
Xander: You...when did you freeze my sperm??
Grace: Oh I allways do that.
Xander: Oh, this is so wrong! Oh my god... I'm with a prostitute.
Hooker: Yeeahh, common you big black son of a bitch.. ohhhh yeahhh.
Xander: Shut up Hooker.
Grace: Aahh.. what are you dong here?
Awesome-X: Xand, uh Billy.. Xander Crews said I could use his place for this... hooker.
Grace: You know him?
Awesome-X: We went to college together, no we didn't get out here, he will meet you at your place in one hour.
Stan: Me? You're the one who paid five million dollars for a blowjob!
Xtacle: What are you doing?? It's a suprise party!
Awesome-X: Ehmm... do what now?
Dying Xtacle: Because we love you...
Xander: Hey! Tone of voice. Look, I don't care what kind of boys from brazil thing you got going on in there, but i'm still the boss in here... and we're going to make Awesome-X dolls, and they are going to kick so much ass you'll probably go blind... and if you still have a problem with that, there's the bigass door!
