Summary

By Nikki_D

 

As Carter Hawins is rehersing for the "Haggar Pants Presidential Debate", Killface is heading to Haggar Pants Arena in a limo. After Killface mispronouces Haggar, the limo driver corrects him and begins to give a history lesson on the company. Lamont promtly hops up and closes the glass divider. Xander, Wendell and Ronnie are heading to the debate piled on a scooter. Wendell, still under the impression that Xander and Ronnie are Gary's contacts and that they are heading to a drug deal, gets suspicious that they are heading to such a public place, and even more so when Xander calls the dealer Jerry. Xander then reveals who he is. Meanwhile, Hooper talks of her plan to take out Killface by destroying the arena during the debate.

Xander realizes he can't go to the debate in his Awesome X costume, so he has Wendell stop by his ex-mansion but is only able to find a cheap tuxedo print t-shirt. After leaving, Wendell has run-in with a car full of black men while still wearing his neo-nazi disguise and ends up in a mini mart with tampons stuffed in his nose to stop bleeding. Unfortunately, they have no money to pay for them and, much to Xander's dismay, Wendell puts on the Awesome X mask then pulls out a gun and kills the cashier. At the arena, Killface is impatiently waiting for the debate to begin, while Val patiently waits for her chance to assasinate Killface having smuggled a sniper rifle in a large gift-wrapped box. The Arena is now within range of the Xcalibur and Hooper gives the command to fire on it. Xander, Wendell and Ronnie, having just arrived, look on as the missle strikes the massive pants statue ontop of the arena. As the pants topple, Ronnie pushes the other two out of the way and is crushed by them from his waist down. The paramedic says it's holding all his blood in and once the statue is lifted he'll pleed to death within 30 seconds. Ronnie requests to spend those last seconds with Xander, but Xander leaves for the debate. In his dying breath he says that he would like to have seen Hanna Montana.

Xander, having finally made it to the podium with Killface, is approached by a visibly pregnant Grace. She tells him she has something to ask him as she pulls out a ring sized box, but the moment is instantly shot down when he asks her why she's so fat. The debate finally begins and ends with the very first topic presented, article two of the constitution which states that a candidate must be atleast 35 yrs old and a US citizen, disqualifying Killface for not being a citizen and Xander for being 33. Xander approaches Killface afterwards and points out the fact that they got free slacks out of showing up. In a fit of rage, Killface punches Xander with a force that knocks him accross the room. Unfortunately he forgot the fact that he was still holding Lamont with that hand. Later, Killface is once again being interviewed by the documentarian. He asks if Killface's new Haggar slacks are stain resistant. Killface replies "well, I certainly hope so". When the interviewer inquires as to why, Killface simply pulls out his gun and shoots him. The documentarian falls to the ground dead. Killface looks into the camera which is now laying on the floor and states "Because my bird is dead, and now I really shall destroy this vile planet!"

 

 

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Quotes:

 

Limo Driver: F__king penguins.

Xander: Could you possibly go any slower?
Wendell: Well it's over loaded.
Xander: Thanks genius.
Wendell: Muffin top express here.

Decepticle Rudy: Holy crap those are big pants.
Hooper: Yes Rudy, they are big pants. But soon they will be nothing but a smoldering tomb for my nemesis..........
Decepticle: .... Killface
Hooper: *gasps* Wait for it!
Decepticle: I'm sorry, I thought you blanked.
Hooper: It was a dramatic pause.
Decepticle: I don't know if you realize how long you're pausing.

Xander: Wait a minuet. I can't go to a presidential debate dressed like this.
Wendell: Yeah, you kinda look like a boob.
Xander: You have boobs.
Ronnie: Boobs, baby's lunchbag.
Wendell: Num num num num.
Ronnie: Eat that lunch baby.

Simon: Mummuomu numun
Killface: No you can't has cheezeburger.

Lamont: Meep meep meep meep.
Killface: Who is Taliban?
Lamont: Menemenmehww
Killface: And who is Steven Segal?

Ronnie: I would like to have seen Hanna Montana.

Grace: But I have something really important to ask you.
Xander: Uh, no you can't has cheezeburger, ya big fattie.
Grace: You know...
Xander: Why are you so fat?

Val: Damn it! I forgot bullets.
Mr Ford: You check your vagina?

Documentarian: ...and they're good looking slacks. Those uh.. are they stain resistant?
Killface: Well, I certainly hope so.
Documentarian: Yeah? Why's that?
*Killface shoots the documentarian who drops to the floor lifeless*
Killface: Because my bird is dead, and now I really shall destroy this vile planet!